| This "living in a set," an
unchanging format, prearranged and accepted as reality,
is what is so devilishly dangerous about righteousness.
Righteousness is a total, subservient belief in a
constructed life set. In so living, you lose the most
vital ability you can have as human being -- the ability
to be the architect of your life, and to experience your
evolution as such. Whether history or mythology, the
story of Eden is true. We were given a "set"
called the Garden of Eden within which to be happy. We
were dissatisfied. We sinned, which simply means we
rejected the "set." We wanted more than ease
and comfort. We wanted to be more like "God."
We demanded free choice, the freedom to be the architects
of our own lives. And "God," whatever
"God" is, gave us that gift. We were given the
mixed blessing of being in charge of our own lives. The quintessence of being human is the ability to make choices. The fundamental experience in being intimate is the experience of making such choice. The "set," however secure and comfortable as even Eden may have been, deprives us of that experience. We have become actors, rather than creators. We constantly re-seek "Eden," the safe, secure, comfortable, and presumably happy set. If life were only this or that prearranged way, we think, we would be safe and happy. Is not this the promise of so many "systems," religious or secular? But the reconstructed Eden is simply a set, a rationalized construct of judgmentalism and prejudgmentalism. We write a black book, which we constantly carry with us, prescribing how we should be with one another, especially how others should be. The other writes his or her own black book and carries it just a righteously. In relation in life, we find ourselves now in the common, incessant, troubled, and ungrowthful battle between different righteousnesses. Intimacy is impossible. Closeness may be possible if we compromise, but it is unstable and usually unhappy closeness.
from "The Art of Intimacy", Personal Confinement |