Lab done, meeting done, tasks at hand, things to try, weekend approaching, it is all just at the beginning and I want it all now - I want to have finished everything, but it never finishes... it keeps coming, the faster I work, the faster it comes - it is an end with no endings. I need to wake up and play with what is in front of me, not what could be. I need to remember who I am, not how to run away.

particle systems, noise systems, fractal systems - they all seem to relate closely. Genetic algorithms also.

Procedural systems are solidified noise systems, observed top down, and modeled at the level of observation (perception, motif, frequent patterns)

I'm drowning, intrigue, fear of too much to handle, restrained fasination - my animal is tied up and caged and it roared with furious anger - I am separated again.

still swimming in thoughts, drowning in self pity, and laughing like the universe reflecting upon it self, rediculous, precious, fully extended and completely unacceptable, amusing poor dog, looking to answer a trick question.

worried about nothing all last hour, all the while evening falls deeper and quieter suggesting peace implying restlessness in dreams. plants grew yet another leaf meanwhile.

it slips under my blood vessels, over the ripe banana orange mango stare, flew across a city and a desert, and weeped the afternoon red and yellow. I weep with it, unable to distinguish our boundaries.