December 31, 2002
escape from freedom

It sorrows me such space of doubt and uncertainty grow in my link with you. Once again I don't know where I am going, or who I am - this is the price of my going into the golden unknown, my freedom of growing gave way anxiety of uncertainty, can I be who I wanted to be? Am I good enough really? I feel alone, no one can listen, so I listen a lot, and hidden myself in their prejudices. I wish I could live freely as I always wanted, I wish I could break free from my personal restraint, I want to show the world how its beauty is burning in my chest but I choke it down my throat, and prevent it from any chance of new hurtings. I am tired of talking to you, I want to be myself, I injected your expectations into my body and now it is poisoning my life's organs like an electric storm.

a lone drop of light dot out a line outside in the dark sky, I can hear the crisp windchine chatting with the wind for 5-10 seconds while every minute passes. Bathroom fan turn tirelessly irate the still cold winter ambience of my surroundings. Another dot of light repeating that old path lined out against the sky, vanished into the windowsill. Night grew deeper still as all lines are confusing into one dimensionless black. Suddenly there is hope and freedom in here, of all places, I thought to myself.

Posted by Bill at December 31, 2002 01:41 AM
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